Monday 24 June 2013

What I thought

A couple of days ago, I stopped posting here for a little while, cause I was worried that doing this, and talking to this gay boyfriend, who doesn't exist, might be actually the thing that was making me depressed.  But I realize now that its not that at all, every time I write a little loving message here to him, who ever him is, I get this little burst of happiness.  In some way the fantasy lives, If only for a moment, and my heart soars.

I'm so unsure of anything anymore.  I just want to die, everything would be so much fucking easier if I just died!

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